One-liners

SeniorGrom

Well-Known Member
Mar 20, 2012
3,785
3,353
USA New Jersey
Waiter checks in on four Jewish men having lunch at a local restaurant, "Is anything alright gentlemen"?

From Jerry Seinfeld's Commedians in Cars Getting Coffee with Robert Klein.
 

pefa

Well-Known Member
Mar 14, 2008
1,078
349
Bi
Accidentally pooped my pants in the elevator.
I'm taking this s#%t to a whole new level.

I named my hard drive "dat ass" so once a month my computer asks if I want to 'back dat ass up'.

Whenever you get mad, just think of a t-rex trying to masturbate.
 

Benny

Active Member
Feb 17, 2004
1,039
1
There are 2 types of people in this world: those who can extrapolate from incomplete data
 

Benny

Active Member
Feb 17, 2004
1,039
1
An engineer, a biologist, and a statistician go deer hunting.

They see a buck, moving through the woods.

The engineer says, "I estimate his speed at .8 meters per second and his distance at 32 meters. Therefore, I need to lead him .4 meters." He shoots and misses ahead of the deer by 1 meter.

The biologist says, "That deer's browsing pattern leads me to believe he prefers fresh tree leaves over the grass shoots he's sniffing, and he's about to stop and reach up for that branch". He shoots and misses behind by 1 meter.

The statistician says "Got him!"
 




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