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Discussion in 'Surfing' started by davesburgers, Mar 8, 2017.
No wonder mine feel tight; I didn't "add 2" to my regular size! I thought I was getting fat! That is one batshit crazy customer service philosophy.
I just found a pair of sweet blue size 33" Birdwells- you know the wicked short ones- in the bottom drawer below that Attack of the Headless Marines shirt that's good for an asswhooping every time you wear it in public and was wearing them around the house trying to find my van keys. Homegirl was working on an audition and stopped herself midline to say, "You're not seriously going out of the house like that?"
I looked at her and probably gave her one of those doofus shrugs us men do when we are caught red handed doing or saying something stupid. "Uhhh... well, yeah, umm, I was. I was fixin' to ride down to TJs to pick up a sixer of Simpler Times and bag of pickle flavored popcorn."
She shook her head and glared at me with what might have been concern. Or disdain. "Seriously?"
I repeated the dumbass shrug. She says, "Dude. Your left nut is hanging below the hem."
I look down. Shit. She was right. Lefty Frizzell was in fact scoping out the scene from below the contrast stitched hem. None of those Old Guys Rule bastards ever paused in their pontifications on not getting married, doing yoga and only getting a little strung out on dope to inform the younger generation what happens to those pliable parts of the male genitalia when the gravity of time and the Earth's rotation have been working their magic for over four decades.
I was about to say fuck it and go get my lager (see: On File "Let the Lager Decide"), popcorn and maybe even some of that mango with chili on it anyways. But then it dawned on me that California, in spite of having the best pointbreaks (at least if you want to make new friends in the lineup) on the continent, is the most fascist state in the union. And the last thing I needed was to have boardshorts send me to prison for 16 months/2 years or 3 years and make me have to register every time I move and stay 100 yards away from schools.
So now I have a free pair of freshly washed (on the ExtraHot setting) Birdwells with a 33" waist and Daisy Duke length legs available for anyone younger, shorter or with a less saggy nutsack. PM me and I'll send 'em your way.
LOL to the saggy nutsacks!
Bring them to Europe.
Problem will solve itself.
Lefty Frizzell. So good, Mike. My coffee-out-the-nose laugh for this glorious morning.
No thanks. Birdwell is over for me.
Some can’t understand, and shouldn’t, but there was something unique about the inability, the ordeal it was, to get what you wanted for a while; then discover the process and finally get it.
Kinda like getting a board from a “master shaper” these days.
It’s like something is only as valuable as it is challenging to acquire.
[QUOTE=" None of those Old Guys Rule bastards ever paused in their pontifications on not getting married, doing yoga and only getting a little strung out on dope to inform the younger generation what happens to those pliable parts of the male genitalia when the gravity of time and the Earth's rotation have been working their magic for over four decades.
Oh icecream, how I've missed these- wonder how many other beautiful nuggets are embedded in the last year's threads.....
write a f#&cking book already
…….with a cherry on top!